Pursuing a sense of excitement, freshness and fulfillment
Lian Yue once said something like this:
“Man has a most basic need for freshness. This boredom with familiarity is man’s most basic desire; it is man’s way of being with the characteristics of the species, originating from instinct, and cannot be changed.”
It has been said that from the moment Adam and Eve stole the forbidden fruit, mankind could not get rid of the pursuit of excitement.
It is the same with feelings. Maybe we once made a promise to each other, but even the sweetest words can’t stop the passion from fading away.
Maybe the beginning of the love, but when two people get along for a long time, each other’s strengths and weaknesses are gradually exposed, the freshness is gradually disappeared.
Long time and the same person together, the other side of the attraction and mystery gradually decline, tired of the mood will gradually grow.
Like a very delicious dish, you eat every day, but also gradually tasteless, inevitably want to change the taste. Can not discharge this sense of emptiness of the man, will also be “outward” to seek stimulation, which also led to the occurrence of cheating behavior.
In addition, and married women have sex, usually can also wake up the man’s bones potential conquest.
Through this “forbidden” relationship, they can obtain a sense of achievement, a kind of fulfillment that can not be obtained in ordinary relationships, not only from the physical conquest, but also contains a kind of confirmation of their own charisma, attractiveness and ability.
Nature makes it so.
In nature, most animals engage in cheating behavior as a result of natural selection in order for genes to be passed on successfully.
And human beings are also the same as most mammals, because unfamiliar partners on the brain dopamine stimulation, far more than familiar intimate partner. Many men in middle age, in his wife’s bed “withered”, but in the bed of the lover “revitalization”, which is called “Coolidge effect”.
It turns out that the program of “cheating” really exists in the brain of all people, so many people are not surprised.
But don’t forget! Human beings from the primitive society to indulge animal desire, to the ancient three wives and four concubines, to today’s civilized society monogamy, also after thousands of years of civilization.
Every advancement in emotional relationships has been based on the continuous development of civilization and the respect of both husband and wife for each other’s personality.
Genes and instincts do not become an excuse for cheating, because in the process of evolution, human beings tamed their instincts, with the shackles of rationality over the beast of desire, before the achievement of a developed modern society, so that everything is traveling on the established track.
Since you have chosen to enter the marriage hall, then you should take the responsibility behind this relationship, take the obligation to form a family.
Lack of reverence and loyalty in marriage
A marriage that lacks reverence and loyalty can easily become a breeding ground for betrayal.
If a man does not have enough fear and reverence for the marriage relationship, he will easily falter in the face of temptation.
The man mentioned at the beginning of the article has no fear of other people’s marriages, thus crossing the bottom line of morality.
He is chatting with a married woman, but at the same time inwardly regret want to extort a sum of money, and ultimately waiting for him, inevitably not a happy ending. And the woman with whom he had an affair, I think it will be difficult to recreate the old intimacy with her husband.
Buddhist master Yin Guang once said: “when always with reverence, do not have a little evil bud. If or occasionally this idea, that is, I think my every move, heaven and earth, ghosts and gods, the Buddha and Bodhisattva, are all aware of see.”
I agree with this.
Both men and women should control their desires and maintain self-control in intimate relationships, and only by working together can we build a foundation of mutual respect and trust.
This reverence and loyalty is not a form of bondage, but a sign of responsibility to one’s partner and oneself, and is the key to sustaining the happiness of the family.
Write at the end
Love depends on the heart, marriage depends on management.
Marriage is sometimes not only a tie, but also a family pile, only mutual understanding and support, spiritual equality and mutual respect, can create a happy and long-lasting marriage.
This life is very long, there may be many storms in the future, will encounter endless storms and countless ups and downs, but as long as the responsibility of marriage, husband and wife together, that is, the joint efforts to hold up an umbrella for each other is also for their own shelter from the wind and rain.
Set your mind right, prioritize, no matter the storm, do not let go of each other’s hands, cherish the partner who will accompany you throughout your life, and walk through the long road of life together.
After all, do not belong to their own wildflowers, and how many can give you the heart?